Joseph Eldon Smith

Joseph we are going on 4 years and it still hurts just as much as the day I lost you. My heart is so broken I can’t let you go. I need you so much. You are part of my life and you always will be. Son you were suppose to be here with us. You were suppose to get married and have those children you so much wanted. There are days I feel like I can‘t go on. I had to get rid of my cell phone I just couldn’t take it anymore. There was never a day that went by that you didn’t call me. Just to say “watcha ya doing Mom” or “Where are you at” and you always ended your call by saying “I love you Mom” Joseph I love you so much my heart is so broken. I can’t breath at times. Joseph I wish our family would show me that you are not forgotten by them I know they are scared that I may cry but what they don’t know is I cry by myself. I try really hard for you I know you never wanted me to be unhappy but sweetheart missing you hurts so much. I just want to go back when you were here how you loved talking I miss that so much. I always felt honored that you always trusted me. But I feel like I let you down somehow. I am your Mom and I should have protected you from this cruel world. A good friend sent me a book it’s on how we pray. It took me back to when we prayed together. For God to take your pain away. I am not mad at him he did take your pain away. Maybe this is what I am suppose to do because I couldn’t take it away for you. I just don’t know anymore. Joseph I love you so much. Joseph you will forever be remembered with so much love. Joseph not a minute goes by that you are not on my mind and I promise there will never be a minute. I thank you for being my son JOSEPH. Dad and Bryan is having a hard time please give them strength. Bryan won’t talk to me you know how he is. Joseph you will always be missed.