Joseph Eldon Smith

Joseph I was listening to the song on here "It's never easy to say goodbye" I will never say goodbye to you. I will never let go of you. I don't know why I am here still It's God's will. Son there are so many days it feels like someone has put their hand in my chest and they just keep ripping my heart out over and over. No one in the family understands except Dad but I thank God the rest of the family doesn't feel this pain and I never want them to. I never knew pain like this it is a different pain that will never ever leave. Still to this day when I awake in the morning before I open my eyes I always say please let this just be a bad dream please let him be here. Then I realize you are not with me. I don't sleep much anymore wish I could just go to sleep and then it will all be over with. Ok I am back maybe can't stop crying . Joseph I love you so much. Never dreamed in a million years I would lose you. Now I am so scared I will lose your brothers. I don't know how to live anymore but that doesn't matter. Having a down day you was the one that always could make me smile and laugh when I tried to be mad and I was the one that could make you smile and make you laugh when you tried to be mad. I sit here and remember your perfect smile I could always read your eyes. They are so warm. Do you remember always giving me hugs making me laugh so hard thinking you was going to tickle me. You use to get such a kick out of that. Oh God knows how much I am hurting for you. I love you Joseph my baby boy forever. xoxo

((((Dessa)))) You are close to my heart and in my prayers as you approach Joseph's birthday. I know the days leading up to it are so very hard for us. Lots of special love and hugs to you this month!! Blessed Be.

YOU CAN'T LIGHT A CANDLE TO SHOW OTHERS THE WAY, WITHOUT FEELING THE WARMTH OF THAT BRIGHT LITTLE RAY,

Thinking of you and your precious son Joseph on this new year's day. May the new year be gentle and may you find peace and joy.  I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. God Bless you and your family dear Dessa. Sending lots of hugs your way today.

New Years Prayer

Thank you Lord for giving me
The brand new year ahead
Help me live the way I should
As each new day I tread.

Give me gentle wisdom
That I might help a friend
Give me strength and courage
So a shoulder I might lend.

The year ahead is empty
Help me fill it with good things
Each new day filled with joy
And the happiness it brings.

Please give the leaders of our world
A courage born of peace
That they might lead us gently
And all the fighting cease.

Please give to all upon this earth
A heart that's filled with love
A gentle happy way to live
With Your blessings from above.

~ Charlotte Anselmo ~

Sweet Joseph,

You and your family will be in my heart tonight as I welcome the New Year.

Joseph another year is coming to an end. Joseph my heart is aching the same as the first day I lost you I think even more. the day I lost you I was in shock no this could not happen I was suppose to be gone before you. I have lost my mother we were best friends I miss her terribly bad but son the pain of losing you I cannot explain. I haven't slept through a night since you have been gone. I guess I never will. When I do fall alseep I awake to this same pain in my heart. They say time heals Joseph my time is standing still now. I love you so much. I know I have to give my all to God I know he is holding you I know he has taken the pain away from you. I wish I could of been able to do that but I didn't. I miss you. Joseph. A new year 2009 and another year closer to being reunited with you. God Bless you my baby boy. xoxo Mom